{this moment}

A Friday ritual (inspired by Soulemama). 

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. 

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. 

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

yeah, I was the crazy woman nursing my baby while eating a steaming hot bowl of ramen over his head at a restaurant. 

breastfeeding twins

Yup. I do it at the same time. Some people call me Supermom. I just call it the only way to stay sane and get some sleep...

La Leche League International has some great articles and resources, just in case you're interested.

more little moments

Despite bleary eyes, mounds and mounds (and mounds!) of laundry, dirty diapers, midnight tandem feedings and lots of soreness in all sorts of places... there are just too many moments of gratitude that take my breath away.

Dear Victoria

Dear Victoria,

It's been so great to get reacquainted with you recently--the girls have really missed you these past 14 months! They've been living in ugly, dumpy nursing bras this whole time. (Man, I really wish you'd share your secret with them.)

But they're back now. Bruised, battered and with battle scars (literally), but they're back. Yes, a little deflated, too, but worth it, right?

Looking forward to more good times,
MamaM

For the Love of Milk: A Trialogue

Q: Our dear wabisabi mother breastfed her four children during a time when almost no one else was doing it - a time when doctors encouraged mothers to use formula because it was healthier for the child and gave the mother more freedom (though doctors are supposedly "experts," this proves the wisdom in questioning those in authority and doing your own research!). Now it has become practically common knowledge (as it once was) that the breast is best.

M: I like the bonding breastfeeding promotes, but in all honesty, I would rather not be a nursing mother. Having to be the sole provider of nourishment is a lot of pressure! If I ever want to go out, I have to plan ahead to have enough milk pumped for little Olive. I worry about leaking and those stupid breastpads always show through my bras. Not to mention that leaky boobs pose a slight inconvenience when doing certain activities with my husband, if you know what I mean. And my nipples--oh, my nipples. Often very sore and chaffed.

But I know the research and I know how important it is for my baby to receive the health benefits found only in breastmilk. And so I press on...

Q: What a trooper! In addition to the mental and physical health benefits of breastfeeding, isn't it also nice to NOT have to pay for formula? I'm all for FREE stuff! But M brings up a good point because though breastfeeding is the best option for both mother and infant, it is not always the easiest thing to do, and many women never get the support they need to be successful.

D: Thank goodness for lactation consultants! I'm not sure I would have been successful with breastfeeding without one or without my very loving and supporting husband. As I look back now, I can't believe that I hesitated at all in hiring a lactation consultant to come to my home. Now we are going on our 16th month of breastfeeding!

As I look back at my breastfeeding experience, I can relate a lot to what M described but now that I am nursing after the 12 month mark, I don't feel that pressure anymore, don't need breastpads, the nipples stopped hurting loooong ago, and I feel like the bond that my daughter and I share from nursing is stronger now than in her first year of life (since it seems like it is the only time I get to cuddle her in her active pursuits of walking and learning). And it is actually an extra comfort to me in knowing that she is getting valuable nutrition when her toddler appetite (or lack of) makes me worry a little about if she is getting enough to eat.

Although some people may raise an eyebrow that you are nursing past the first year, you don't have to feel like you are the only one. I attended several La Leche League meetings and witnessed the vibrant community of nursing mothers and several meetings available both during the day, the evening, for mothers or babies under 12 months and mothers of babies older than 12 months. LLL provides excellent support and may get you over some of the humps of wanting to quit breastfeeding earlier than you might have originally planned.

M: It is so key to receive support when breastfeeding. I've never been to an LLL meeting, but I did meet with a lactation consultant about a week after Olive was born. It made all the difference! You'd think breastfeeding is easy enough--just put that babe up to your nipple and she'll start sucking away--but for many it's not so. It's actually a learned art. Thank goodness I had this lactation consultant, two nursing sisters, a mom and a supportive husband to help me along the way.

D: For me, breastfeeding just made sense - I quit my job to stay at home full time when my daughter was born, am too cheap to buy expensive formula, and had read too much about the benefits of breastfeeding to go any other route. However, for some other mothers, it may not make as much sense but that doesn't mean that it isn't worth it. Breastfeeding can definitely have its challenges and although it is one of the most natural acts in the world, it is not always easy. So we encourage all future mamas to make the choice now that you will breastfeed your baby and not to be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Get recommendations on lactation consultants in your area or contact the local La Leche League. Don't feel guilty if you don't automatically (or ever) enjoy it but at least try it and try to stick with it for as long as you can! Some breastfeeding is better than none and more is even better!

Homemade: Boobie Blanket

As promised, here is the tutorial for making homemade nursing covers (is "Boobie Blanket" too tacky?).

Supplies:
1 yard cotton fabric
18 inches boning
7x7 inch square piece of terry cloth
1 set of 3/4 inch D rings

Cut the cotton into:
3x42 inch rectangle (long strap)
3x6 inch rectangle (short strap to hold D rings)
38x26 inch rectangle (body of the nursing cover)

Press the two straps inside out and sew along the side with 3/4 seam allowance. For the long strap, narrow the seam towards the end to taper off. Turn the straps inside out and press with the seam centered in the back.



Fold the short strip in half with the seams facing each other. Insert the D rings and sew along the edges like so:



Double-fold the edges of the large rectangle piece and press:



Starting from the top corner of the shorter side of the rectangle, sew along the edge of the seam.



When you get to your first corner insert the terry cloth (folded in half like a triangle) and sew into the seam to create a pocket. The is the bottom corner of the nursing cover (and very handy for wiping spilled milk).



After you sew around three sides of the cover, you should be at the top of the longer side. This is the top of the nursing cover. Measure 8 inches from the corner and pin the D ring strap into place. Measure 8 inches from the opposite corner and pin the longer strap into place. At this point you can either pin the boning in under the seam or, when sewing the seam, leave an inch-wide space to insert the boning after you've finished sewing. After inserting the boning, you can either hand or machine stitch the space closed.



Once the bottom seam is finished, I like to run it through the machine again to sew along the top part of the seam to reinforce both of the straps (I only do this along the top of the cover, not on the bottom or sides).



Trim off all the access threads and press any wrinkled areas. Voila - you have a stylish, personalized nursing cover (or Boobie Blanket) of your very own!

Breastfeeding: A Haiku

plump mammary mounds

the hungry smacking of lips

mama's milk is best

3 Things I Love About Breastfeeding

1. Nurturing and Bonding With My Baby
I loved those moments of quiet, skin-to-skin contact with Mayumi, the way she would look at me, the way she depended on me.  She would often reach up and caress my neck or gently pull on a strand of hair.  As she got older she liked to insert a finger into my belly button, always searching for a way to connect to me.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least the first year of a child's life (and exclusively for the first six months), because mother's milk offers nutrients and antibodies that no other milk or formula can provide.  Apparently breastfed babies are less likely to have allergies, asthma, gastrointestinal issues, respiratory problems, ear infections, childhood leukemia and type 1 diabetes.  There are even claims that breastfeeding may boost your child's intelligence and protect against obesity later in life.

2. Health Benefits for Mama
Besides helping to lose all that pregnancy weight, breastfeeding offers a slew of benefits to mama as well.  It can lower your stress levels and reduce postpartum bleeding, reduces the risk of both breast and ovarian cancer and may protect against osteoporosis later in life.  Not to mention that breastfeeding is FREE.  Granted, it may take a toll on your lovely bosoms (I admit it was a shocker when I weaned Mayumi to see what had become of my lovely ladies) but the benefits FAR outweigh the costs. 

3. Having a Rack
Sorry for the vulgarity, but having been small-breasted all my life, it was a definite bonus to finally fill out up there.  In fact, one of the compliments I most often received was that my breasts were beautiful and perfect.  I felt so feminine.  It was a nice feeling.  (No knock against small breasts - they are also beautiful and feminine and often more convenient, especially when working out!)

August Giveaway: Nursing Cover

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, we are devoting this entire week to celebrating mama's milk!  This month's giveaway is no exception: you've probably seen stylish, devoted mommies everywhere sporting these modest nursing covers.  While I'm all for whipping those buxom tatas out, I understand that most women are a little more conservative when it comes to breastfeeding in public (and for all my talk, I'm a hooter hider as well).  These nursing covers usually run between $30-40 online and in those chic (but pricey!) boutiques.  But we'd like to give one lucky Wabisabi Mama reader their very own, handmade boobie blankie.

Not only that, but I'll be posting a tutorial on how to make one yourself later on this week.  Even if you don't need one for yourself, these handy lovelies are a great gift for a breastfeeding mom you may know.  I love to wrap one of these up with The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding to give as a shower gift to a new mom. 

To enter, simply leave a comment below.  You can gain an additional entry by becoming a follower (first-timers only!) and leaving a second comment letting us know.  Comments close by 8pm EST next Sunday the 8th.  Good luck ladies!  (Comments closed.  Thank you!)

Breastfeeding study

I ran across this article on CNN a couple of days ago that cited some alarming statistics about the lack of breastfeeding in the U.S. It cited a CDC study that found the following:

• Only 74% of women even start breastfeeding
• Only 33% were still exclusively breastfeeding at three months
• Only 14% were still exclusively breastfeeding at six months

These rates are far below the World Health Organization's recommendation that states infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life. The article stated that if new moms would breastfeed for the first six months of life, a thousand lives and billions of dollars would be saved each year. The infant deaths are due primarily to SIDS, necrotizing enterocolitis (when the lining of the intestinal wall dies) and lower respiratory infections such as pneumonia. 

So the question is why aren't more women breastfeeding? The article suggests lack of support in the hospital after birth, lack of education about the benefits of breastfeeding and lack of support once a mom leaves the hospital and runs into problems, such as failure to latch.

I can relate to these reasons. After giving birth to Olive in the hospital, I had one great lactation consultant work with me just minutes after Olive was born. But then I worked with another the next day who said Olive didn't seem to be latching and I should just pump. A few days after being home, I ran into more problems with latching and hired a third lactation consultant who saved the day. Had I not known that there were lactation consultants out there that could help, I could easily have given up on breastfeeding. 

It can be frustrating and painful (after two-and-a-half months of nursing, my nipples still often hurt). Many women don't have their female family members nearby to offer support and guidance. And if a mom is returning to work, there are even more challenges. 

At Wabisabi, we are big advocates of breastfeeding. Q was at it for over two years, D is going on one year and I hope to reach at least the one-year mark as well. I understand there are legitimate reasons for not breastfeeding, but I hope we can raise awareness of the important health benefits breastfeeding has on our children so women can make informed decisions that are best for their families. 

One Week!

By MamaQ

See this pile of dowdy old nursing bras?  They are headed for storage. 
Because it has been one week since I have breastfed Mayumi. 

Yes, one week!  I'm not sure if it is a cause for celebration or mourning.  We cut down slowly and then stopped.  My heart aches sometimes when Maya still begs for it, but then she'll say something adorable like "I want to be a big sister" and I know that it is the right time.  The whole process was less painful than I anticipated (physically and emotionally).  The silver lining?  Besides being ready to start our next round of IVF treatment, I can start wearing my cute bras again! 

Not that anyone else but me (and occasionally Mr. Q, but not as often as we'd like!) is seeing them.  But I've been amazed at how much... sexier I feel knowing I'm wearing a lacy little number under my clothes.  And that is a good thing, especially when you're trying to get pregnant!

Today, the leapoard print.  Meow!

Bad mommy

By MamaM

My new mama confession: I sometimes watch TV when breastfeeding. Okay, I often watch TV when breastfeeding.

For the first few weeks, I diligently sat in my glider in the nursery, feeding Olive. I had read that this was the time to bond with your baby as you gaze into each other's eyes and are belly to belly. But Olive didn't really look into my eyes; in fact, most of the time, her eyes were closed. And even if she were to stare at me, with sessions lasting upwards of 45 minutes (people, she's a total piglet) I think I'd still be nodding off in the dim light of her nursery. My hands were tied up, so I couldn't hold a book to read (I don't know how some moms do this). Plus, I was constantly worried that I would fall asleep while feeding Olive, accidentally drop her on the floor and give her some horrible disformity.

What was a new mom to do?

One night when my hubby woke up to put the baby back to sleep, he went downstairs and watched TV to pass the time as he rocked her.

How come I never thought of doing that?

It was about this time that the Olympics started and I often found myself on the couch, Boppy in lap, baby on Boppy and remote control by my side. Sometimes I would get so caught up in that crazy giant slalom (or whatever it's called) that I didn't notice my nipple had fallen out of Olive's mouth and I'd start apologizing to the little one for being such a bad mommy.

But really, I don't feel like a bad mommy. Breastfeeding has not yet been a bonding experience for Olive and me, and I'm not sure it ever will be. In fact, I kind of dread it because my nipples still haven't adjusted and give me a good deal of pain when Olive latches on hard (she gave me a blood blister the other day!).

Don't get me wrong: I feel good that I am able to give my baby sustenance and I like holding her close to me, but I think I will fall in love with her as we spend time together doing a variety of things every day, not just breastfeeding.

My point is that I initially felt a little guilty about my nursing technique, but quickly got over it. I'll continue to have the boob tube on during some of our nursing sessions, at least while she's still new. (Olive's facing me and I keep the volume on the TV barely audible, so I don't feel like I'm rotting her brain just yet...)

There are so many expectations of women and mothers, but we each need to find what works for us. What's important to me is that I'm nourishing my daughter while finding a way to keep me satisfied as well.

Splurging

We mamas are frugalistas and proud of it. We love getting deals and don't usually buy expensive clothes, but I have to admit I spent $70 on a nursing bra recently.

Is that a lot of money to anyone else?

I rarely shop at Nordstrom, but went there on the recommendation of another mom after being frustrated with not being able to find a good nursing bra (as a fuller-breasted mama, it is really hard to find one with good combo of support and coverage). I was sized and fitted and got a really great (albeit granny-looking) bra. And though I might be able to buy three bras for $70 elsewhere, I think it was worth it.

I originally was going to call this post "Indulgences," but changed my mind because I don't think a good bra (or several good bras) is an indulgence; it is a building block of good fashion, comfort and self-image!

I also once paid a lot of money for a pair of jeans (Oprah said this particular brand can make anyone look good!) and maybe a pair or two of shoes--and I think that's okay! That's why we scrimp and save, right? So we can splurge for the things that we really want--and dare I say, deserve.

What have you splurged on that you don't regret?

Two words

Lactation consultant.

She saved my life yesterday--and for only $35.

After several days of what I though was fairly successful nursing, Wednesday and Thursday brought some breastfeeding challenges. My not-even-week-old baby started fighting me at feeding time. We're talking blood-curdling (and heartbreaking) pterodactyl screams, bright red face, flying fists, side-to-side head swinging--the works. Feedings were taking hours and I was getting frustrated and discouraged. I can only imagine how my hungry child felt.

I never took a specific breastfeeding class, but read a lot about it, observed how others did it, learned about it in Bradley class, watched videos and worked with two lactation consultants/nurses at the hospital. But I think breastfeeding is not something you can learn ahead of time. I knew what I was supposed to do; doing it was a whole different matter.

After watching Olive and I suffer for a few days, my sweet husband called in a lactation consultant. MamaD had used one with her baby and found it extremely helpful, so we figured it was worth a try. From a google search, we stumbled upon a woman who runs one of two local birthing centers and set an appointment for her to drop by that afternoon.

Heather Shelley was a miracle. After observing me for a few minutes, she corrected some of my poor technique and got the baby to latch on immediately. I'd been mainly using the football hold but was holding baby too far in front of me rather than further back towards my armpit, my index finger supporting my breast was getting in the way of baby's sucking and I was shoving baby's face instead of her shoulders and neck into my breast to get her to latch on. Heather also showed me the proper way to do the cross-cradle hold.

Because Olive latched on and fed so quickly, Heather offered to come back later that afternoon to work with me again as part of her $35 one-hour fee (a real steal!). Since then, all of my feeding sessions have been successful and calm. Baby's happy, I'm happy and I feel comforted knowing that Olive is getting all the nutrients she needs.

When my husband mentioned to his boss that we had hired a lactation consultant, the 40-something guy half-jokingly said that young people these days are spoiled and that his generation had to just learn things on their own. This is the complete wrong approach! We need to take advantage of the wisdom of women all around us to help lift each other and learn. Like Heather told me, breastfeeding is not supposed to be hard--and it's not if you know how to do it properly. I'm so glad I didn't waste any more time fighting with my daughter and can get back to enjoying bonding during feeding time.