weekend highlights

:: brunched with neighbors and admired their babies (5 new babies on our block within a few months of each other!)
:: made more pop tarts! devoured more pop tarts! love homemade pop tarts!
:: cleaning, reorganizing, de-cluttering: an ongoing process!
:: flexed my creative muscle at a dog & pony dc rehearsal/meeting.
:: satisfied my inner voyeur be attending a neighbor's open house and admiring her clever decorating style.
:: received our order of Girl Scout cookies!
:: cared for three sniffly, croupy children and hoping I can avoid getting what they have... fingers crossed.
:: going to bed early... why do I love that so much?

new year's resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

There is something about the arrival of a new year that stirs something within me. I appreciate the opportunity to reflect back on the waning year and make goals for the new one. I like that sense of hope and renewal - the excitement and determination to be a better person.

While reading Cinderella Ate My Daughter a few months ago, I was struck by a passage about new year's resolutions. The author, Peggy Orenstein, compares the goals of a modern-day girl and a young woman from the 19th century. The contemporary girl resolved: "I will try to make myself better in any way I possibly can... I will lose weight, get new lenses, already got new haircut, good makeup, new clothes and accessories." The young woman of lore wrote: "Resolved: to think before speaking. To work seriously. To be self-restrained in conversations and actions. Not to let my thoughts wander. To be dignified. Interest myself more in others." Orenstein comments: "... though the 19th century girl may have lived in a more repressive ere - before women could vote, when girls' sights were set solely on marriage and motherhood - her sense of self-worth was enviably internal, a matter of deeds over dress. Whatever other constraints she felt, her femininity was not defined by the pursuit of physical perfection; it was about character."

Though I definitely desire to improve in some external areas (a haircut is a must in the next few weeks and I really need to start working out again!) I am inspired by the old-timey girl's self-awareness and internal sense of self worth. Thinking before speaking and practicing more self-restraint are good goals for me. And being dignified? In this age of Twitter and Facebook and tell-all blogs and TV shows, that seems to be a forgotten value. I would like to be more dignified...

A few years ago I tried assigning a theme for the year... in 2011 I vowed to seek more tranquility in my life. Alas, in 2012 I was really just trying to get by, so there was no true resolution set beyond survival. IVF cycles, an uncomfortable pregnancy followed by the birth and care of twin boys chased all bits of tranquility away. There are so many areas of my life where I seek improvement, but I this year I want to follow in the steps of that young girl from the 1800's and cultivate more thoughtfulness in my actions. This takes on as plethora of other habits and values needed to reinforce that goal.

How does one become more thoughtful? For me this means:
- truly listening to other people when they speak (and remembering what they say) rather than waiting for the opportunity to say what I want to say. This will require thinking before speaking, so that my words are not used to grab attention, but to convey meaning and uplift others.
- performing acts of kindness and service, no matter how small, that are personal and meaningful to those around me. This will require cultivating intuition so that I can find the inspiration to serve. I think intuition is honed through prayer, scripture study, meditation and healthful living (getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising..). When my body and spirit are in tune with each other, there is clarity in the mind. Oh my, this will be a challenge for the spacey girl that I can be!
- being aware of the world around me, focusing on the present moment rather than constantly making plans for the future.
- sharpening my mind and learning new things. Reading good books, watching good films, interacting with good people...

I'm resurrecting my mantras from these quotes:

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with an open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden, and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony.

~William Ellery Channing

(posted about this here)

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

(posted about this here)

Indeed, it is a bit ambitious, but shouldn't new year's resolutions be lofty and inspiring? I'm pumped! I'm ready to do some personal improvements! 2013 is going to be a good year!

Source: thefirstgradeparade.blogspot.com via Miranda on Pinterest

Year of Tranquility

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness, go in peace.

~Melody Beattie

I have been pondering much on the subject of peace and mindfulness. I feel like I am always rushing, trying to be as productive and busy as I can be. I'm always saying to Mayumi, "Hurry!" and I have come to the conclusion that it is bad parenting and all-around bad living. As I re-examine my life and think about resolutions for this new year, I realize I really want zen. I want my home to be a haven and my life to be a reflection of peace. 

My friend, Teabelly, likes to start every January off with a theme that she centers her year around (this year is her year of LOVE). In that inspirational spirit, I am announcing 2011 to be a year of tranquility for me. I am going to put more effort into being mindful of all my actions, taking time to truly listen to and play with my daughter, practicing compassion in all of my relationships (especially with myself), avoiding over-scheduling and rushing around, and embracing the wabisabi moments that make up my days. I have already banished the word "hurry" from my vocabulary and I am shocked at the difference it has made in the atmosphere of my home and in my interactions with the people around me.

My mantra:

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with an open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden, and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony.

~William Ellery Channing

Let me know what your resolutions are, dear reader, and also be a good friend and remind me when I am exhibiting signs of pushing too hard. A gentle reminder here and there will always be much appreciated.

First Laughter

The Japanese believe it is auspicious to start the New Year with a good laugh.  Waraizome, or "first laughter" is high on my list because not only do I need all the good luck I can get, it just feels good to laugh, doesn't it? So if you have a good joke or a funny story, please share.

I have one for you.  Over Christmas vacation my brother and dear mother took Mayumi to Chuck E. Cheese one evening so Mr. Q and I could go on a date (a rare occasion for us!).  As any child would be, especially during her first foray into the world of arcade games, she was full of wonder and glee.  At one point she turned to my brother and announced "Uncle Chris, this is so fun!  Maybe when you and Baba (her grandmother) go on a date my mommy and daddy can take me here!"

Oedipus anyone?

The Family Compound

The past few months have been a whirlwind of various members of the family coming for a visit.  And it has been wonderful! 

Mom was here from Japan (for two whole weeks!):

Nana, a retired elementary school principal, was visiting from Boston:

Not only did I benefit from having an extra set of hands around (the lawn got reseeded, clothes got sewn, dishes got washed, meals got cooked) but Mayumi flourished under their attention and loving care.  Every night I would get into bed and feel so thankful and I would ask Mr. Q "Why do we move away from our families?"

Seriously, why do we?  Why do my best friends (aka my sisters) live on the other side of the country and my mom on the other side of the world?  Why does it take us 9 hours to drive to see my in-laws? 

I don't think we were intended to live all by ourselves in our little family units.  Yes, we have found a wonderful community here full of loving, supportive friends and neighbors, but nothing compares to the helping, kind hands of a grandparent, or the bedtime stories told by a favorite Auntie, or playing with your cousins.  Am I the only one who wants to live next-door to my entire family on some sort of farm compound? 

I used to be a bit critical of those high school friends of mine who never left the town they grew up in and lived down the street from their parents (sorry, so sorry!).  I was destined for cosmopolitan adventures.  And apparently a lot of loneliness and frustration, I suppose.  I envy those of you whose parents are a regular part of your children's lives.  If we can make it happen one of these days, we will.

In the meantime, Baba come back!  We miss you!

Little People

A dreary place would be this earth

Were there no little people in it;

The Song of life would lose its mirth,

Were there no children to begin it.

No little forms, like buds to grow,

And make the admiring heart surrender

No little hands on breast and brow,

To Keep the thrilling love-chords tender.

The sterner souls would grow more stern,
Unfeeling nature more inhuman,

And man to stoic coldness turn,

And Woman would be less than woman.

Life's song, indeed, would lose its charm,
Were there no babies to begin it;
A doleful place this world would be,
Were there no little people in it.

~John Greenleaf Whittier

Oops...

This is what was on my kitchen floor today. I won't tell you how many days of build-up this represents or what yummy things that build-up is composed of. I promise  my kitchen's not always this gross; it's just amazing how these things sometimes get away from me...

Fall in love

Oh, how I love fall! Windy, overcast days, changing leaves, pumpkin pie and apple cider. Cozy sweaters, crisp air and bundled babies!

Bath time

Bathing is one of my favorite daily rituals.  Most days Mayumi and I take a bath together before we get ready for bed, and it is one of those activities that helps us to unwind, relax, and bond.  Who doesn't love a long, hot bath at the end of the day?  When we were in Japan one of our favorite outings was to go to the public bath house where one can enjoy the abundant hot springs and the communal act of bathing together.  Sound strange?  Maybe to a westerner, but in Japan and other countries around the world, not only is it normal, but it is an integral part of many familial and friendly relationships.  You get nekkid with the people you love!

I recently discovered an Asian-style bath house just outside the city.  It is called Spa World and Mayumi and I went there last night.  We stripped down in the locker room with dozens of other women and headed to the shower stalls to sudsy up.  We washed each other's hair and got ourselves squeaky clean before heading into the various hot tubs.  I was worried because most of the tubs were too hot for children, but they had one little tub specifically for kids that was kept at about 79 degrees.  Mayumi loved it.  She made friends with a five year-old Korean girl and they just talked and splashed around for about an hour while I enjoyed the jet massage and hot tub. 

Besides loving the hydro-therapy, I loved that Mayumi was being exposed to women's bodies of every size, shape, age and color as if it were the most natural thing in the world (because it is!).  Some of my American friends have worried that they would feel to self-conscious in such a setting, but for me it is the complete opposite; I feel so comfortable and un-concerned about my body.  I am reminded of what "normal" is and that those unattainable bodies that we are bombarded with on TV, magazines, and other media are not necessarily what we should be striving for as women.  The public bath house is such a beautiful, peaceful place and I was so happy to share the experience with my daughter.

After our bath we got dressed and enjoyed dinner in the spa's restaurant.  Once we had leisurely eaten, we headed back to the bath for round 2.  We left around 8pm and Mayumi immediately fell asleep on the ride home.  It was the perfect way to spend an evening.  I kind of want to do this more often, so... if you're ever in the area and want to join us, we'd love an excuse to go back!

Meditation: Life is Tough

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.

~Marie Curie

I'm inspired by strong, intelligent women, like Marie Curie. I often need to be reminded that life is not easy for any of us.  Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself or whenever I find myself making unfair judgments and assumptions about other people, I try to remember that everyone is suffering somehow.  We're all just trying our best to survive and find some happiness in this life.  When I focus, instead, on my blessings and all the good stuff then I'm able to muster the strength to persevere.  The confidence part, I'm still working on...

Lunch Appeal

My little one seems eons away from being in school (although it will probably come quicker than I can imagine right now) but I hope that I can be as ambitious and creative in preparing her school lunches as this mom.


Just take a look at her fantastic blog, Another Lunch. How adorable is that!? The food itself is actually pretty simple but the presentation of it is fantastic.

I guess that I could start practicing at home using muffin tins like this other blogger, Muffin Tin Mom. My once "good eater" baby is turning into a "picky eater" toddler. But who wouldn't want to eat food presented in such a way?




The rational side of me may have thought at one time that it was a waste of time to make a meal cute. But the wiser adult (and mother) in me can see that food represents so much more than just the function of obtaining calories; it creates memories.

And the aesthetic appeal of food is incredibly important. I think that we all can appreciate when food looks really, really good, whether at a restaurant or at home or in a picture from a blog or magazine. But for those whose practical side always win, think of it this way: the practicality in taking the time to make your food more aesthetically appealing would result in your picky little ones actually eating the food you prepared!

I also love that for the school lunches, using a bento box (or similar container) reduces the waste of using ziploc bags or washing a million little containers. So there are so many pros to all this - you can have the control to provide nutritious meals to your children, made with love and creativity ('cause seriously, you would be the most awesome mom or dad if you did this) all while reducing waste. I guess the only con is that it takes up a little extra time in your day.

But aren't these little ones worth it!?



I totally remember the wonderful lunches that my mom used to make for me all the way through high school - always with a sandwich (with the lettuce, tomato, and avocado wrapped separately so as not to make the bread soggy), fruit (always peeled or cut up for easy eating), veggie, and some treat. My friends would actually be envious and when my mom found out, she made an extra lunch for one of my best friends so that she could enjoy it too!

I guess I better start investing in some cookie cutters!!

Just one of them days...

Last Friday was a bit of a mess.  I kept thinking about Alexander and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and that I was having one of those days, too. 

It all started with a trip to the doctor's office.  No one likes to be poked and have blood drawn, especially first thing in the morning, but there you have it, that's how I started my day.

Afterwards, even though I was not feeling well, I decided to walk from the doctor's office to the Einstein Memorial at the National Academy of Sciences.  I snapped some photos of Mayumi playing on the statue and then decided to walk to the Metro via the National Mall.

I was sore and tired, so I had to stop to rest by the duck pond where Mayumi and I had a snack and admired the mallards.  We continued on slowly towards the Washington Monument. Despite how I was feeling, it was a beautiful day and I decided to snap some more photos of Mayumi against the backdrop of the memorials.  I started searching through the stroller to find the camera.

Have you noticed that there are no photos to accompany this post?

"Where is the camera?" I grumbled to myself.

Mayumi looked at me happily and announced, "I took it out."

I stopped cold in my tracks.  Did I mention that I was already feeling pretty awful? Now I had to stop myself from losing my patience.  "Where did you put it, Mai?"

"I hung it on the bench."

I hobbled back to the duck pond (it felt like it had taken forever to get to where I was and now to have to turn back?!).  No camera.  I stopped at the concession stand - "Has anyone turned in a camera this morning?" 

No.  Tried at the Information Kiosk at the Vietnam War Veterans Memorial.  No luck.  The Information Desk at the Lincoln Memorial.  Nope.  At the Korean War Veterans Memorial.  Nothing.

I fought back tears as I retraced my steps back to the Metro, trying not to think about how this is the THIRD camera I have lost in my lifetime (the other two are a story for another time).  I endured the train ride, just wanting to get home to crawl into bed, feel sorry for myself and sleep. 

But guess what happened when I got to my front door?

I had forgotten to bring my house keys with me.

I still did not cry.  I called Mr. Q and let him know I was hopping back on the Metro and meeting him at his office to pick up his set of keys.  He did not chastize.  Instead he took me to his work cafeteria and fed us (by this time it was two and we hadn't eaten lunch yet).  Then he took the rest of the day off and escorted us home.

It had been a crummy day.  But you know what?  It could've been worse.  And at least I finally got to go to bed...

But alas, my camera is gone, despite multiple phone calls to the Park Police.  Mr. Q suggests that maybe for Christmas we'll be able to get a new one.  So until then, dear, sympathetic readers, forgive the lack of  photos!

One of these things

Just doesn't belong. Can you find it? Hint: It is pink and swirly and creamy and is supposed to go in the freezer.

I love my husband. I really, really do. I try to love him more when I find ice cream in the fridge. He's just lucky it was some crappy pomegranate ice cream. If it were my Dreyer's Mint Cookie Crunch, he would be dead meat...

Free hugs

Our wabisabi dad sent us girls this YouTube video, saying it's the best one he's seen. I have to admit, my mommy hormones kicked right in and I got a little teary-eyed. We're all just human beings who want a little love! Enjoy.

Flying solo

I'm so excited that in a few weeks I get to go back to Beantown to visit family and friends. Not so excited that I will be making the five-hour direct flight with my six-month-old daughter.

I'm already a little stressed. How am I supposed to carry a baby, a car seat, a stroller, a travel crib, a diaper bag and luggage? What if she screams the entire flight and people give me nasty looks? Is the time difference going to ruin her schedule forever?

Whatever the outcome, I'm determined to travel with this infant and take a little vacation just like I did before she was here. But I could really use some tips on how to make this successful. Anybody?

Really McCormick?

No one in your research and development department has thought of putting the label on the TOP of the jar?

Thank you Uncle Sam

It's always fun to get a tax return and figure out how to spend it. Well, not all of it--we'll be opening a 529 account for Olive and made a huge payment on our truck--but we also kept a little for some projects around the house.

Like these ledge shelves in my dining room (contents are still a work in progress):

And storage racks for the garage! Nothing makes me happier than organized storage.

What'd you do with your money?

The cost of Costco

This was my receipt from my most recent trip to Costco:

Only it doesn't include the $35 in gas. Or the $105 for my contact lenses. Or the $1.50 for the hot dog (come on, that is a bargain).

Good thing I kept my day job.

Love Letter

Dear Mayumi,

Today you said the funniest thing: we were talking about how much we loved Dad and when I started listing all of his admirable qualities like how he's smart, funny, hard-working, handsome, and kind, you proudly chimed in "and hairy!"  I love how you make me laugh all the time.

Love, your Mama

Looking Forward to Summer

I know spring is barely here, but after a recent trip to the beach, we are already anticipating summer playtime.