october's serenade

It is not easy (or advisable) for me to be out and about on my feet, but we had a few exceptions this past weekend. The autumn air is so seductive and since PapaQ was't around to give Mayumi some much-needed outdoor time, I had to take the reigns. Outings to the local Family Fall Festival  and grabbing crepes at Eastern Market were just what we needed to take advantage of this time of year. I suppose it was a bit much for me and my poor swollen feet and aching belly... the good news is that when we do all this again next year, I won't be in this condition and it will be the more the merrier!

complications

It's been an overwhelming past couple of weeks.
Not because anything has necessarily gone wrong, but perhaps because things haven't gone the way I expected.

I should start over.

When I found out was pregnant (after five rounds of IVF), I was ecstatic and grateful and even a bit incredulous. A few days later when we found out that there were TWO embryos in there, those feelings intensified. Though I knew that a multiples pregnancy was considered higher risk, I imagined that we would have a similar pregnancy and birth experience to the one we had with Mayumi. With her I had never physically felt better in my life (for the most part) and had a beautiful, natural birth (albeit challenging and definitely the hardest thing I've ever done up 'til that point) with midwives at the birth center. This time I still wanted the midwife and I even looked into home birth - wouldn't it be wonderful to have my five year-old daughter involved?

But that was not to be... almost everyone we spoke to refused us because twins are considered too high risk. The birth center where I delivered Mayumi, as well as other midwife practices, turned us away. Which made PapaQ and I think that perhaps there was something to this high-risk business and made us a bit hesitant to work with the two midwives we found who were willing to work with us. So we headed to one of the local hospitals where we'd heard there were some good OBs who supported natural, vaginal childbirth.

And then almost halfway through the pregnancy I started bleeding. While out of town. At the emergency room I was diagnosed with placenta previa. I was told to be on pelvic rest and modified bedrest for a little while. Then a few days later I had another scary episode of bleeding. Was it just from travel? I was relieved to get home and see my regular doctors and hear that they weren't really worried about it; in other cases like mine the placenta usually moves as the uterus expands and vaginal birth is still possible.

But as the weeks went on that stubborn placenta just kept it's place there by my cervix. And a few weeks ago they discovered that these big ol' blood vessels were implanting themselves right down there by the cervix as well. They said it was rare - I was only their third patient with a situation like this. It meant automatic C-section AND having an integrated radiologist in the OR to insert catheters into my arteries as a precaution against massive hemorrhaging and the need for a hysterectomy.

Oh my, that all sounded quite frightening and quite the opposite of what I had anticipated. Adding onto that my increased discomfort and pain from carrying two babies, along with regular contractions (yet I'm not in pre-term labor, thankfully) has resulted in the need of more bed rest (these boys are HEAVY!). Difficulty sleeping, nausea, loss of appetite, cramping, heart burn...  it turns out that this pregnancy has been a bit more unpleasant and complicated than my first. I am so grateful to be pregnant with twins, but at the same time I have found myself frustrated by all the limitations and fear it has caused. I never imagined that I would have a C-section. I never imagined I would have to give up yoga and walking and acting and being normal.

What a pity party I find myself having sometimes.

For the most part I'm simply trying to focus on staying healthy and positive for four more weeks (FOUR MORE WEEKS! That seems both so near and an eternity away). Regular acupuncture appointments, prayer and meditation, and the help and support of PapaQ and my friends have kept me sane. Sometimes I still find myself in tears, feeling sorry for myself, but overall I'm really lucky, aren't I? The babies have been growing well and are healthy. We know what the risks are and though the conditions aren't ideal we'll be able to have them safely. Then I'll have my boys with me and out family will have grown from three to five! That is amazing! So yes, things are a bit more complicated and unexpected, but life is like that sometimes. You know... complicated.

twin paraphernalia

I don't have any strong opinions (I know... GASP!) about twins wearing match-matchy clothes or having dual sets of anything. Obviously, there are some things we will need two of: carseats are first to come to mind, as well as high chairs (we love the Stokke Tripp Trapp and just inherited a second one from friends Naomi and Josh! Thanks guys!). I have a good friends with identical twin girls and she insists that there be two of everything for her girls to reduce confusion and arguing. The girls have identical toys and wear identical clothing and I can completely understand how that is easier.
When people find out I'm having twins, one of the first things they ask (after appropriately gushing about how cool it is that I'm having twins and then inquiring whether or not they are identical or fraternal) is whether or not I'm going to dress them in matching outfits. I'm always a bit surprised by this, because frankly I don't really care if they dress alike. I'm more concerned about how I'm going to soothe and feed two crying babies at once and how we're going to afford college for three kids and if it is possible to practice Elimination Communication with twins and if I'll be able to handle homeschooling... oh my, there is so much to worry about, isn't there?
But when it comes to dressing them, I'll just be happy to have clean clothes that fit.
Not there aren't some cute (sometimes bordering on obnoxious) stuff for twins out there:

Source: etsy.com via Helene on Pinterest

Source: fab.com via Emily on Pinterest

Source: pinterest.com via Denise on Pinterest

my absolute favorite!!!

Goodness, companies sure know how to market to us mamas, don't they? Since our boys are fraternal it will be interesting to see how much they actually look alike. Will we end up with blonde, blue-eyed recessive babies (like Mayumi) or will they be darker? Will they be alike or like opposites? I suppose that somehow their clothes and toys will reflect that at some point. For now, I enjoy being amused by the stuff that is out there.
But for reals - do you have any opinions or suggestions about dressing and providing for twins? Matchy-matchy? Two sets of everything?

room for twins

Bed rest can result in a little too much time on hand for surfing the web. Though a separate room for the boys won't be necessary for a while (we hope to co-sleep for the first bit), it doesn't hurt to be prepared and have some inspiration on hand, right?

Source: hit-decor.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

Source: freshome.com via Bri on Pinterest

Source: redonline.co.uk via Ewa Et Lukasz on Pinterest

Source: decorpad.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Source: rhbabyandchild.com via Susanne on Pinterest

Source: google.ca via Mama on Pinterest

Source: houzz.com via Mama on Pinterest

I think bunkbeds will be the more practical option in our spacious (can you sense the sarcasm?) city row house... which do you vote for?

in utero

This photo was taken about two months ago (!) but now I'm a bit bigger (27 weeks!). For the most part things have gone well, but carrying twins has been quite different from carrying a singleton. Of course, the same concerns and hopes and preparations arise: will they be healthy? What will they look like? What will they be like? As I lay in bed (more and more often these days) I feel them wiggling and squirming around, which never fails to fill me with wonder and comfort. The few newborn clothes we have all been washed and folded and stored in the bureau, awaiting their chance to cover those darling newborn limbs. Possible names are added to our respective lists (PapaQ, Mayumi and I all have separate ones because we can't agree on any).
Not everything has been sweet and easy, though. There have been a few emergency room visits due to bleeding and a diagnosis of placenta previa... which isn't an especially big deal but puts my hopes for a natural vaginal delivery on the Unlikely-to-Happen checklist. Periods of modified bedrest have been prescribed, as well as pelvic rest. The list of things that can go wrong with a multiples pregnancy insidiously finds its way into my thoughts now and then.
But I can't really complain because the fact that I am pregnant at all is a bit of a miracle. New life always is, I suppose. And like their big sister, Maya, these two boys are going to teach me so many things and rock my world in more ways than one. It may feel like there is a party going on in there now, but I know I haven't seen anything yet!

something in the water

Pregnancies are miracles. 

And there have been a lot of miracles this year! On my city block alone there are six of us sporting baby bumps and most of us are due right around the same time. And even more exciting, MamaM is preggers too. And keeping with the trend, she is also adding a little boy to this go-round.  

We're both due about a week apart, if you can believe that. And though we haven't been so good about documenting the bump, here are some relatively recent pics:

 Can't wait to see them when they're on the outside!

boy power

A little note to say we are still here and fine.
Busy (and tired) but fine.

Oh, did I mention a little thing like a few weeks ago we found out that we were having boys?
Yes. TWO BOYS!


Phew! No wonder I'm tired.
There is a soccer match going on in my womb.

Hurray for little brothers. This big sister can hardly wait!

It's Girl Scout cookie ICE CREAM!

By MamaM

What? This won't help me lose the pregnancy weight?

Nesting

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