Bad mommy

By MamaM

My new mama confession: I sometimes watch TV when breastfeeding. Okay, I often watch TV when breastfeeding.

For the first few weeks, I diligently sat in my glider in the nursery, feeding Olive. I had read that this was the time to bond with your baby as you gaze into each other's eyes and are belly to belly. But Olive didn't really look into my eyes; in fact, most of the time, her eyes were closed. And even if she were to stare at me, with sessions lasting upwards of 45 minutes (people, she's a total piglet) I think I'd still be nodding off in the dim light of her nursery. My hands were tied up, so I couldn't hold a book to read (I don't know how some moms do this). Plus, I was constantly worried that I would fall asleep while feeding Olive, accidentally drop her on the floor and give her some horrible disformity.

What was a new mom to do?

One night when my hubby woke up to put the baby back to sleep, he went downstairs and watched TV to pass the time as he rocked her.

How come I never thought of doing that?

It was about this time that the Olympics started and I often found myself on the couch, Boppy in lap, baby on Boppy and remote control by my side. Sometimes I would get so caught up in that crazy giant slalom (or whatever it's called) that I didn't notice my nipple had fallen out of Olive's mouth and I'd start apologizing to the little one for being such a bad mommy.

But really, I don't feel like a bad mommy. Breastfeeding has not yet been a bonding experience for Olive and me, and I'm not sure it ever will be. In fact, I kind of dread it because my nipples still haven't adjusted and give me a good deal of pain when Olive latches on hard (she gave me a blood blister the other day!).

Don't get me wrong: I feel good that I am able to give my baby sustenance and I like holding her close to me, but I think I will fall in love with her as we spend time together doing a variety of things every day, not just breastfeeding.

My point is that I initially felt a little guilty about my nursing technique, but quickly got over it. I'll continue to have the boob tube on during some of our nursing sessions, at least while she's still new. (Olive's facing me and I keep the volume on the TV barely audible, so I don't feel like I'm rotting her brain just yet...)

There are so many expectations of women and mothers, but we each need to find what works for us. What's important to me is that I'm nourishing my daughter while finding a way to keep me satisfied as well.

Meditation: Nurturing through food

By MamaM

You know all those oishii recipes on this blog? They're mostly done by Mamas Q and D. I have to admit that when it's my turn to post a recipe, I get less than excited. I'm not a good cook. I never have been. Somehow, I always find a way to mess up a recipe--even if I follow the instructions exactly!

I've never taken much time to cook. (I really don't know what I've eaten all these years; certainly not very many homecooked meals.) Until just a few weeks ago, it was only DaddyM and me. It's hard to cook for two, plus I've been busy throughout the years with work, working out, MBA school and volunteer service, among other things.

But now that I'm reducing my hours as a public relations manager to part-time, I've vowed to cook at least three meals a week. That might sound pathetic to some of you, but will be a real challenge for me!

As I was looking through my Barefoot Contessa cookbook (the first time I've ever done that), I came across this quotation by its author in the introduction:

Food is about more than dinner. It's about coming home and being taken care of. It's about Mom. I actually think that the food our mothers made may not be what we are nostalgic for. It's more an emotional picture of a mother who was always there, knew what we needed, loved us, let us run free when we wanted to explore. Food is about nurturing: not only physical but also emotional nurturing.

I love this insight. I want my children to remember me as a mother who fed them physically, emotionally and spiritually. I want to nurture them and spend time talking at the dinner table. I want my kids to know one way I express my love is through feeding them delicious, healthy (and maybe occasionally not-so-healthy!) food. I want them to long for my yakisoba and apple pie the way I long for my mother's!

We all know food is one way t0 bring families together and I'm looking forward to being able to do this with my own family.

Splurging

We mamas are frugalistas and proud of it. We love getting deals and don't usually buy expensive clothes, but I have to admit I spent $70 on a nursing bra recently.

Is that a lot of money to anyone else?

I rarely shop at Nordstrom, but went there on the recommendation of another mom after being frustrated with not being able to find a good nursing bra (as a fuller-breasted mama, it is really hard to find one with good combo of support and coverage). I was sized and fitted and got a really great (albeit granny-looking) bra. And though I might be able to buy three bras for $70 elsewhere, I think it was worth it.

I originally was going to call this post "Indulgences," but changed my mind because I don't think a good bra (or several good bras) is an indulgence; it is a building block of good fashion, comfort and self-image!

I also once paid a lot of money for a pair of jeans (Oprah said this particular brand can make anyone look good!) and maybe a pair or two of shoes--and I think that's okay! That's why we scrimp and save, right? So we can splurge for the things that we really want--and dare I say, deserve.

What have you splurged on that you don't regret?

Oishii: Berry Muffins Flambe!

Shortly after Mayumi was born my in-laws were visiting and I had the brilliant idea to make muffins.  The truth was, I was craving them.  I was in that stage where you're breastfeeding and RAVENOUS.  I left my baby in the arms of her Nana, turned on the oven to preheat and set about pulling out all the ingredients for my special berry muffins.  I thought I smelled something burning but assumed it was nothing... until I saw flames shooting out of my oven.  I opened it up and calmly called out "my oven is on fire."  My father-in-law came racing in, grabbed a fire extinguisher and ordered all of us out of the house.  I spent the next few hours at the neighbor's while a firetruck came screeching down our little one-way street, the house filled with firemen, (the fire had already been extinguished but there was smoke and soot everywhere!  Amazing how quickly that happens!) and my sweet father-in-law insisted on cleaning everything up.  I later learned that he and my husband had placed a mousetrap (one of those plastic glue ones) in the broiler drawer to deal with a little rodent problem we were having.  Unaware of that, I had started the oven and it melted and caught fire.

Needless to say, I never did make muffins that day.  But I still find myself craving them.  I adapted this recipe from the Barefoot Contessa - hers is good.  Mine is even better!  <*;*>

Berry Muffins

3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

1 1/2 cups plain yogurt

2 extra-large eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted

2 cups frozen mixed berries, thawed

11/4 cups rapadura (organic whole cane sugar)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees (make sure there is nothing in there, like mousetraps).  Line muffin tins with paper liners.
Whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a large bowl. 
In a separate bowl, combine milk, eggs and butter. 
Mix in with dry ingredients until just combined - don't overmix!  Add berries and sugar and stir gently.
Spoon batter into muffin cups.  Bake for 25 minutes and tops are nicely browned.

Bring a few to a new mom - she will be forever grateful!

Homemade: Flower Cards

I'm really not that crafty, which is why I love this project. It's easy, easy, easy. Just cut out a bunch of random, imperfect circles from paper, plus a few straight-ish lines for the stems and tear-dropped pieces for the leaves. Stack orbs of differing sizes on top of each other, add a stem and some leaves, glue to a plain notecard and you end up with a beautiful and artistic handmade card.

Now go write a note on your handmade card and make someone's day!

Playtime!: Hinamatsuri

We spent our summers in Japan, so we missed out on the celebrations that happened during other months of the year, like Hinamatsuri.  On March 3rd the Japanese celebrate Hinamatsuri, also known as Doll Festival or Girls' Day.  Hinamatsuri probably originates with the ancient Chinese who believed that the sins of the body and any misfortunes could be transferred to a doll and washed away by setting the doll adrift in a river. When this practice spread to Japan, it was linked to girls playing with dolls in the Edo Period (1603-1876) and developed into what is now known a Hinamatsuri.

This festival is celebrated in virtually every girl's home with a large, multi-tiered platform that displays dolls representing the Emperor, Empress and Court from te Heian period.  Families take the opportunity on this day to pray for their daughters' health and happiness.

We love the idea of a holiday that celebrates being a girl!  If you have a daughter, today might be a time to focus on her.  Pull out all the dolls and play pretend, do some Hinamatsuri crafts and make some special treats together.  Speaking of treats, there are some special dishes for the festival including hishimochi(diamond-shaped rice cakes) in layers of red (or pink), white, and green. The red is for chasing evil spirits away, the white is for purity, and the green is for health.  Another traditional dish popular on this day is chirashizushi - seafood, mushroom and vegetables spread over sushi rice.

There is also a charming song known as the Hinamatsuri song and translates to:

Let’s light up the lanterns.
Let’s offer them peach flowers
Hear the flute and the drums.
Today is happy hinamatsuri.

Here is a great link for some origami dolls and if you're feeling a bit more ambitious, you can try this paper craft here.

However you choose to celebrate Hinamatsuri, we hope your day is full of girl power!

Blog Renovation Update

Just thought I would give you a little taste of things to come. The header didn't quite get finished last night but I think that we made some really great progress:

That's MamaQ with the bun and MamaM in the green. PapaD still needs to work on me and all our little ones. I'm hoping to even get him to draw our cats in there (the Wabisabi Mamas are big cat lovers)!


If you are interested in seeing the art cast from earlier yesterday evening (where you can watch him do this all step by step), check it out HERE on my husband's blog. He hopes that you will never take for granted how much work and time it takes to make a good header (or any piece of illustration for that matter).

Starting Seedlings

These days find me restless for winter to be over. Growing up we always knew when spring was coming because the house would suddenly be crammed with plastic containers and pots full of dirt taking up every inch of available window space.  The house smelled like soil, and I remember Mom devotedly misting those pots and checking on them with awe and anticipation.  I didn't really understand her enthusiasm back them, but now I find myself yearning for the same signs of life and growth. 

I was so excited when my box of seeds arrived in the mail.  Mayumi and I cleared a space on the dining table and got to work.  I had my own tray and she had hers (broken eggshells and an egg carton - how charming!).
 

Mayumi planted marigolds from seeds we harvested last fall.  My tray contains several varieties of tomato and bell pepper, leeks and cucumber.

There is something s hopeful about waiting for seedlings to emerge!

Outdoors, Mother Nature is showing signs of readiness as well.  The blizzard snow is melting and look what is starting to pop through the ground!  Tulips!

Have no fear, my friends.  Spring is on the way!

Blog Renovation

By MamaD

Did I ever mention that PapaD (my husband) is an artist. That means I'm very fortunate because he can do all sorts of cool things like touch up our pictures in Photoshop and digitally draw fun stuff in Adobe Illustrator among other things (and more importantly, has a fulfilling job that he enjoys and supports our family). And some of the feedback that we've been getting is that we need to personalize this site a little more and add some character to it. Although our current header of lovely water flowing from bamboo is...lovely, it is a little impersonal and not the best reflection of us sisters. So tonight, at 7:00 PM MST, my husband will be doing a live art cast where you can watch him design and illustrate the new header for our blog. Here is a sneak peak at some of the designs we thought up the other day (although this is pretty rough and could look pretty different when all is said and done).

The cowboy hat probably won't make it in but my husband thought it was pretty funny...

If you're interested in seeing some of PapaD's work (aka Brandon Dayton) you can check out his blog HERE. You can view the art cast by clicking on the Drawing Live button in the upper right side of his blog or you can link directly to it from HERE.

Meditation: Happiness

By MamaQ

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other person and then for ourselves.

~ Helen Keller

We had a really interested discussion in church last week about agency.  I've struggled with trying to make the "right" choices.  Morally right, emotionally right, socially right, right for me and my family.  But it's often difficult to know what is the "right" choice: do I continue breastfeeding or wean now?  Do I take on more responsibilities at work or not?  Should I enroll my daughter in pre-school or not?  Should I enlarge my vegetable garden or not?  As mothers we make a million choices every day and they have good and bad consequences.  Does a bad consequence mean you made a bad choice?  I'm not sure...

What I have learned is that regret is a horrible thing.  That challenges are a necessary part of living and growing.  And that the most important thing I can teach my daughter is how to handle those challenges with grace, strength and even gratitude. Out of the millions of choices I make, perhaps the biggest one is how I choose to respond to the consequences that result from those choices.  My attitude is my own choice, my happiness is of my own making.  Though it is raining I will choose to be grateful. Though weaning has been heartbreaking I will focus instead on the bond we've created and the chance we'll have at creating new life. I will try to teach my daughter that it's okay to be sad about something, and suffering will inevitably happen (and often as a result of our own choices) but you look for the silver lining, find something to be grateful for, and move on.  And maybe I'll learn that lesson along with her!

Right now, my happinesses are holding Mayumi's hand, enjoying the way she caresses my hair when we hug, catching up with friends, meeting Mr. Q for lunch downtown, writing hand-written notes, gardening, and eating muffins (more on that this Friday!).  What are yours?

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

~Abraham Lincoln