candy for the eyes and tummy

My friend sent this podcast/article from NPR about Japanese Omanju. If you're a fan of unique sweets, and haven't tried anything like this, I highly recommend it. I'm particularly a fan of chestnut manju. But where to find such treats on the east coast? If you find out, let me know!

via

A Word About Grass

I do love a good patch of grass to run around on, but this little anecdote below made me laugh. I thought I'd share:

A conversation between GOD and St. Francis about Suburbanites

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the World is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back On the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves Them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the Winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy Something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about…

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

********************************************************************************
Along this topic, Mayumi and I have been enjoying a new book:

Makes me consider letting my little postage stamp-sized front lawn turn into a wildflower meadow!

Hope you have a lovely week, friends!

Today You, Tomorrow Me

While out running errands in our trusty Hyundai I heard the following broadcast on the Splendid Table:


I almost had to pull over because I was in tears. If you'd rather read the article you can find it at The New York Times.

It made me grateful for all the people, particularly strangers, who have stopped to help me when I've been in need. And also grateful for uplifting media, because I can only take so much of all the depressing journalism that passes for "News" out there.

Hope you enjoy it too!

Foreign Policy and a Whole Lot of Villages

A few weeks ago Mr. Q forwarded me an article on CNN.com on Hillary Clinton and how she is trying to remake foreign policy. He thought it might be something I could work into a post for Wabisabi Mama and I think he was right. I've never been super-involved in politics, though I certainly have my opinions on how things should be done. But I do have strong feelings about community involvement and activism and I think understanding politics and foreign policy is an area I could improve in. Here was the context on the article referenced:

Can Clinton Remake US Foreign Policy?
Smart power means focusing on a package of national security challenges that don't fit easily into classic foreign policy boxes -- like women's empowerment, human trafficking, poverty, disease, internet freedom and climate change. These challenges, Clinton has argued, will do more to shape the 21st century than conflicts between states. To meet them, Clinton has adopted an ideology she espoused in her book "It Takes a Village," in which she argues it takes all aspects of society to raise a child. As secretary she argues that civil societies, and women in particular, have an important role to play in solving modern challenges and expanding economic and political opportunity for ordinary people.

I haven't always been a fan of Secretary Clinton, but I'm intrigued by her assertion that "women in particular have an important role to play in solving modern challenges and expanding economic and political opportunity for ordinary people." This isn't really new information to us mamas, is it? Isn't part of the reason why some of us chose (and love) parenthood is because we intuitively understand that we can make a great impact here at home, on the micro level, which will then ripple outwards to affect the entire world? In fact, if more men and women felt empowered to truly center their lives on their families instead of allowing most of their energy to be drained by their extractive (often unfulfilling) careers, wouldn't we have a lot less crime, poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy and political upheaval? Okay, maybe I have no right to make such claims, but let's talk about it...

In some ways there has been a shift back towards the home, hasn't there? A new appreciation for the domestic arts, child-rearing, homesteading...a trend that I think should be encouraged and embraced. Perhaps as we focus inward and heal and strengthen our families it really will result in better neighborhoods, better schools, better communities and better relationships between states.

But I'm really interested in how you're working in your own "villages" to make promote social change. How do you find the courage to speak up? How are you contributing to your communities? In these troubling times, what are you doing to make a difference?

Mindful Eating

In the wake of my detox I'm trying to discern the lessons I've learned from the entire experience. As far as cleanses go, the CLEAN program is relatively mild. There was no serious fasting, I got to eat solid food every day, and the list of allowable foods was not so restrictive that I couldn't maintain the challenge for four weeks. That being said, it was still a struggle at times as I found myself staring longingly at forbidden foods and craving bread, sugar and eggs (brioche bread pudding, anyone?).

I read an article in the February issue of Yoga Journal about one woman's experience with reducing the quantity of food she at, which in turn helped her to become more aware of her own body's needs and more mindful of the food she was actually eating. (I cannot find the online article, but here is a link to an interview with her about her book Ravenous: A Food Lover's Journey from Obsession to Freedom. I really related to what she was talking about as far as mindfulness and awareness go. Here are the lessons I've learned:

1. I am more discerning about what "hunger" means to me. I used to think I was hungry all the time, so I was constantly snacking and never giving my digestive system a break. Now when I feel the urge to snack, I take some time to re-evaluate what I'm feeling. I drink water and if I still feel the need to eat I try to have something small and nutritious, like a few apple slices with almond butter or a sheet of nori. I thought I would experience a lot of hunger during the detox, but the truth is, I was surprisingly satisfied with the small amount of food I ate.

2. I'm more aware of the need to eat vegetables as my main source of nutrition. I used to think I was eating a lot of vegetables until I started this detox. I found myself needing to go to the market three or four times a week (instead of my once-a-week visit) to restock on veggies and fruit. Instead of filling up on carbs I am eating way more plants. Despite feeling a bit like a rabbit sometimes, it has been wonderful and mind-opening to be getting so much nutrition.

3. I used to take pride in my appetite and the fact that I didn't have to worry about my weight and could eat anything I wanted (I am not a junkfood eater, but I also don't shy away from high-caloric items like cream, eggs, or oils). I've realized that my pride was driving some of my food choices and now I'm more careful about keeping it in check.

4. I'm more careful about avoiding acidifying foods (dairy, meat, sugar and most grains) and focusing on alkalizing foods. It's been an experiment in self-control and self-understanding to acknowledge my desire for the kinds of food that are not in my best interest and then to either forego them or eat them sparingly. I feel more empowered now as a result of the combination of knowledge and the power to act on that knowledge.

5. Obviously, I've become much more mindful about what and how much I am eating. I am trying to take the time to really enjoy my food and think about where it came from and what it is doing for my body. I have always loved eating, but now it is almost a spiritual experience. (Can you believe I just said that?)

I started this detox in an effort to re-balance my body. I've struggled with excruciating pelvic pain (attributed to endometriosis and mittelschmerze syndrome) and infertility (due to a luteal phase defect?) for most of my adult life and the traditional western modes of medicine just don't mesh with my world view. It just didn't make sense for a healthy young woman like myself to have these issues and I couldn't help thinking that there is something I'm doing to myself, something in my environment, that is unbalancing me and causing these problems. I was angry at my body for a long time and then I had a revelation that I needed to channel that anger into working to make a change in my body, to do as much as I can and then once I can literally go no further, to then call in the big guns (IVF is my last option). So, this detox fell in line with the things I've learned in traditional Chinese medicine and I decided to try it out.

No miraculous results yet (aka, I'm still not pregnant) BUT I feel lighter and cleaner, more emotionally stable, and the debilitating cramping seems to have lessened, if not disappeared. So, I'm kinda converted to this now... and I'm proselyting!

Some Thoughts on Housewifery

I've always been a bit uncomfortable about the term "housewife." I'm not sure I even really know what it means - doesn't it seem like such an old-fashioned word? Does it bring to mind some kind of 50's image of a smiling woman with a skinny waist in an apron and heels, spatula in hand? My first impulse is to become defensive when I feel I'm being categorized that way because I have such negative associations with that word. "Homemaker" or "Stay-at-home Mom" are less grating, but I kind of cringe at those labels, too.

The truth is, I left a really rewarding and exciting career when I gave birth to my daughter. I was fulfilling my life-long dream of being a professional actor and I had also discovered that I also had a talent and passion for teaching. It was really hard to leave that behind, but I have never regretted it because I REALLY wanted to be the best mom I could be and for me, that meant devoting myself full-time to raising my daughter.

My decision to stay home with Mayumi coincides with my desire to return to a more simple, creatively-fulfilling life. In addition to learning things of scholastic import I want to teach her the basic principles of self-sufficiency and an appreciation for things that are beautiful and uplifting. That means that when I'm doing loads of laundry she is there beside me turning the knobs on the washing machine and measuring out detergent. She sits up on the counter while I cook and prepare our meals; she'll crack eggs or stir batters or we'll just talk about food and nutrition. She mops after I vacuum, and we dust together. We work in the garden together. We try to do everything together, and sometimes that makes it more difficult and twice as long to complete. But there is value in that, isn't there? Does everything have to be so rushed?

At times I have felt guilty that there are many parents out there who don't have the "luxury" of staying at home with their children. I know I am truly lucky in that way, but to be honest, it's not as if my husband is making buckets of money and i'm indulging in consumer whims and/or sewing decorative yo-yos all day (though I'm not critisizing anyone who does that). But to be fair and completely honest, I do choose to allot some of my time to nurturing the creative soul within me. I thrive on creating, I need to create. I lost some of that power and opportunity when I left my day job and now I find myself seeking it through traditional crafting arts like knitting and sewing, or through gardening, or just by decorating my home and keeping it clean and organized. My favorite are the days we don't leave the house and instead, we lug out the sewing machine and spend the day making doll clothes or sewing a dress for a beloved cousin. Or we create a card-making factory with paper and glue and stickers all over the place. We could certainly just buy things and it would take less time and probably less money. But then Mayumi would never learn to sew a button or the value of good craftmanship and she may take for granted the time and effort and funds it requires to make a unique, beautiful something for someone she loves.


I recently read this post from Shivaya Naturals where Heather voices some gripes she has about people who marvel at all the free time she has to do crafty, creative things. Her concerns resonated with me and I just wanted to publicly lift my torch beside her and say "amen, sistah." This housewife is also just trying to make this world a happier, more beautiful place - starting right here at home.

Back to the Earth

During these cold winter months I miss gardening; I miss talking to my worms and digging my hands through rich brown soil.  I miss participating in the growth cycle of all sorts of different plants and I miss benefitting from their growth - the fresh-cut flowers, the vegetables, the cheerful greenery...

But I'll settle for these encouraging articles about other people enjoying the process! I love these kinds of stories of people who are expanding their lives to include more conscientious lifestyle choices and community building. And I'll also settle for the scrumptious act of dreaming and planning what will be peeking through my dirt come spring.

Good bye January... hurry up and come spring! I'm ready for you!

I am Tiger Mom, hear me roar?

I know this has probably been over-blogged, but I can't help but jump on the bandwagon and throw in my reactions and two cents on this. A few days ago my dad sent me this article from the Wall Street Journal with the subject header "Wow."

If you haven't read it (or even heard about it), you should read it - it is fascinating and very provocative. It is written by Yale law professor Amy Chua and discusses her "Chinese" philosophy of strict, regimented, no holds-barred parenting. Printed just as her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother hit the bookstores, you could consider it brilliant marketing since all the debate and uproar has shot the book up the bestsellers list. But I think this shake-up is timely in other aspects, too - at least for me. I struggle with how I will approach raising (and homeschooling) my child. So this has given me the opportunity and fodder to examine my own approach to parenting.

Just as a side-note; I was raised by a Japanese mother and it was nothing like the "Chinese" parenting described in the article. It wasn't quite the "western" paradigm either. Expectations were there to succeed, but there was never any belittling...

But to be perfectly honest, I sometimes wish my parents had been a bit more strict and pushed me a bit harder. I don't say that in a critical way - my poor mom carries enough guilt and regret about her parenting as it is (she is crazy - she was/is a most wonderful mother and so was/is my dad). But no parent is perfect (though we expect them to be, don't we? And some people can never quite forgive their parents for that). I know I have so much to learn about how to be a good mama, but I assume the Chinese model and the Western model are not mutually exclusive. Perhaps a better method is finding a way to integrate the two paradigms? Strictness with compassion? High expectations with room for fun?

One of the most interesting thing to me in this article was this quote:

Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

I actually had to stop and ask myself what I assumed about Mayumi's psyche, and though I would describe her as a tough kid, I think I behave as if I'm terrified that I'll cause some psychological damage that will result in years of expensive therapy. Oh, that is bad, isn't it? I could never condone calling your child garbage, but the strictness and the emphasis on hard work and achievement is something that I think is missing from my own parenting. I've noticed I'm too quick to give in when Mayumi is whining or crying. I'm so afraid that she is going to be unhappy in the present moment that I'm unable to see the bigger picture and understand that sometimes I have to be the tough one and not indulge her whims and fancies all the time, for her own good.  So, in addition to trying to create a more tranquil and less rushed environment, I am now trying set stronger boundaries and expectations of proper behavior in our home (in a loving and compassionate way, of course). It's only been a few days, and it is a constant struggle, but I think we're starting to see some changes.

But not allowing her to participate in sports and school plays? Now, that is a little extreme... (so says this actress!). The troubling thing for me, in this article, is not just the demoralizing that can go on, but the over-emphasis on academic achievement. Mayumi is only three years old and though we participate in some informal "schooling," I'm a big believer that an important part of development is play and exploration. I don't think academic prowess necessarily makes you a successful person. To me, success is about knowing how to find your happiness. What good are straight A's and a high salary if you are miserable? For some counterpoints to Chua's article you may want to check out this article from the Examiner about pushing preschoolers and this oped from CNN.com about letting kids play. Fascinating stuff.

Forgive my rambling, but it helps to clarify my own thoughts and who knows? Maybe you can shed some light on this stuff for me, too!

Breastfeeding study

I ran across this article on CNN a couple of days ago that cited some alarming statistics about the lack of breastfeeding in the U.S. It cited a CDC study that found the following:

• Only 74% of women even start breastfeeding
• Only 33% were still exclusively breastfeeding at three months
• Only 14% were still exclusively breastfeeding at six months

These rates are far below the World Health Organization's recommendation that states infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life. The article stated that if new moms would breastfeed for the first six months of life, a thousand lives and billions of dollars would be saved each year. The infant deaths are due primarily to SIDS, necrotizing enterocolitis (when the lining of the intestinal wall dies) and lower respiratory infections such as pneumonia. 

So the question is why aren't more women breastfeeding? The article suggests lack of support in the hospital after birth, lack of education about the benefits of breastfeeding and lack of support once a mom leaves the hospital and runs into problems, such as failure to latch.

I can relate to these reasons. After giving birth to Olive in the hospital, I had one great lactation consultant work with me just minutes after Olive was born. But then I worked with another the next day who said Olive didn't seem to be latching and I should just pump. A few days after being home, I ran into more problems with latching and hired a third lactation consultant who saved the day. Had I not known that there were lactation consultants out there that could help, I could easily have given up on breastfeeding. 

It can be frustrating and painful (after two-and-a-half months of nursing, my nipples still often hurt). Many women don't have their female family members nearby to offer support and guidance. And if a mom is returning to work, there are even more challenges. 

At Wabisabi, we are big advocates of breastfeeding. Q was at it for over two years, D is going on one year and I hope to reach at least the one-year mark as well. I understand there are legitimate reasons for not breastfeeding, but I hope we can raise awareness of the important health benefits breastfeeding has on our children so women can make informed decisions that are best for their families. 

The Reactionist

I'm one of those people that the media, marketers and conspiracy theorists love.  I buy it all.  BPA is bad?  I don't use plastic at all.  Bye-bye Tupperware, hello Glasslock.  Teflon is bad?  I only use stainless steel and cast iron pots and pans.  Pesticides and preservatives are bad?  Well, we consume only all-natural or organically-grown products.  Indoor air quality is bad and can be caused by chemical off-gassing of carpets, furniture and mattresses?  We opted for old hardwood floors and switched to an organic latex mattress.

The newest one?  In this month's issue of GQ (why I was reading this is another story) there was this article about the dangers of cell phone radiation (read it and let me know your thoughts!).  I understand that GQ isn't exactly an academic source and I know that I will be accused of being an alarmist, but the cell phone issue has been a concern of mine for quite some time.  We always try to use an earpiece or speakerphone to keep the phone away from our bodies (specifically our brains).  Some European governments have acknowledged the danger of cell phone radiation exposure and are issuing legislation to deal with that.  For our part, this week we ordered Verizon to install a landline(a fiasco in and of itself) in our home which we hope to be our primary method of phone communication.  Since we're going retro, I'm actually on the lookout for a vintage rotary dial phone.  Let me know if you have any leads!

But, oh! We have come to rely on our cell phones so much - how can I live without it? I realize it will be a weaning process as we complete the terms of our contract (I hate how those companies force you into those).  We are also considering throwing out the microwave oven and reverting back to ethernet cables instead of a wireless connection.  We might as well move to the outback and live off the land.

I don't believe in living in fear.  Really, I don't.  But as a mother I feel particularly responsible to make the best decisions for my family's health.  Like eating lots of vegetables, getting exercise, and avoiding cancer-causing radiation.  Am I crazy?