President's Day walk

President's Day holiday. Of course there were projects that needed to be done around the house, but we decided to put them off and take advantage of having PapaQ home for an extra day this weekend. Taking a walk through the woods together as a family seemed perfect on this sunny, easy-going day.. Finding such wilderness required driving a few minutes away to the National Arboretum where you'd never know you were in the middle of a major city. Despite seeing signs of spring in our neighborhood, here it seemed as though nature was still slumbering through winter. Surrounded by lovely shades of brown, amber and gold we leapt over muddy patches (as best and one can leap while carrying a baby strapped to you) and poked at thinly iced ponds with sticks. Such a brisk, refreshing outing; I hope that our children's memories of growing up include these lovely little patches of free play in the brilliant outdoors.
And yes, Mayumi chose to wear a bonnet from her dress-up basket. I'm sure the few people we ran across thought we were some kind of Amish or something... charming but a little strange.

four shots

Last Saturday Maya had her five year check-up with the doctor (a few months late, I know, but that's how things roll around here). She needed four immunization/booster shots to be caught up for where she needs to be to start school in the fall. FOUR! (If, indeed, we do enroll her in school because I'm still pretty gung-ho about homeschooling her or doing some sort of hybrid thingy, but how can I compete with a Mandarin immersion program and a really cool playground?)

Anyhow, at the doctor's she needed four shots. She was so scared, of course, but she handled it like a champ. Afterwards she and PapaQ got a treat to celebrate her bravery (hot chocolate!). She came home and proudly showed me her four bandaids on her poor little arm as if they were war wounds. Because they kind of are, right?

Oh my goodness... I simply cannot believe how much she has grown in the past year. It has been staggering. It seems that our chubby little toddler is all-of-a-sudden a big girl, all long-limbed and loose-toothed. And oh, the things she says! Why don't I write them down the second they're out of her mouth so I don't forget? A huge part of me mourns the little girl that she is not anymore. A part of me wants to freeze time so she'll stay like this forever and stop growing up (and eventually away?). But the other part of me adores watching her grow and learn and become even more amazing than the day before.

Oh, my sweet daughter, the days go by so quickly and sometimes at night I watch you sleeping and I wonder if I did enough to today to make you feel loved and treasured. Did I remind you what a miracle your arrival was? Did I hug you enough and breathe in your shampoo/outdoor/sweaty hair smell? Did I memorize the different contours of your face? Did I read to you enough? Did I laugh loud enough at your jokes? Did we play enough games and color enough pictures together? Did I pay enough attention to you even though it seems so much of my focus is on your brothers these days? Did I tell you that I love you? Because I do. So fiercely, my sweet love, my five year-old daughter, my Mayumi bear. So, so much!

awesomest letter ever

growing up

A while back Mayumi and I were browsing around the thrift store when we came upon some little lady black Mary Janes with a tiny bit of a heel. She was thrilled and begged to have them and since they were in excellent condition and only $4 I agreed. Later that evening, after she showed them off for her daddy, PapaQ let me know that he didn't approve at all - he thought that not only were they inappropriate for developing feet and bones, but they were too grown-up. I realized that I agreed and we watched, chagrined, as she pranced around in them, admiring her legs and relishing the the satisfying clippity-cloppety sound they make on the hard wood. 

A few weeks later she received another pair of heels, this time gold-strapped with plasticky-glass bobbles. Nana had recently painted Mayumi's toenails (another thing that is generally not allowed around here) and the combination of scarlet red toes and flashy strappy sandals remind me of something Granny would wear on a special night out. Grown-up indeed.

Ultimately, it is probably not a big deal that we indulged her despite the dangers. But parenting is made up of countless tiny decisions that cumulatively add up to where we stand morally, intellectually, and spiritually and kids pick up on the discrepancies and hypocrisies, don't they?
Why does Mama get to wear heels (though I hardly ever do because they are too uncomfortable!)?
Why does Daddy get to eat two cookies when I only had one?
Why could I have a treat yesterday but not today?
Why can I get away with whining and complaining sometimes but not all the time?

It is so hard to be consistent and fair and wise. It is hard being a parent! Mistakes are inevitable! Sometimes I find myself at a loss. Sometimes Mayumi argues me into a corner and I find I have no explanation. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is give in...

More than anything, I see that Mayumi isn't the only one with some growing up to do around here.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual (inspired by Soulemama).
A single photo--no words--capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your "moment" in the comments for all to find and see.
Have a wonderful weekend!

a poetic day

There was something brilliant and rather poetic about our outing the other day. It was unplanned. We had finished some chores in the house and I realized Mayumi could really use some focused Mama time. Some time where she could be in control and make the decisions. So I asked her what she wanted to do and she announced that she wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History.

So we did.

We took our time - for once we didn't have to rush in order to meet friends. It was just the two of us and we had no real agenda...

Everything is so much more beautiful when you take the time to really see it. We noticed things we'd never noticed before, despite having been here so many times.

And since it was a Monday afternoon, it wasn't very busy. We practically had the place to ourselves. Maya led the way through the great halls and exhibits. 

And when she had asked all her questions and had her fill, we headed back. And when she requested that we stop and ride the carousel, we did.

Her smile was the most beautiful and poetic part of the day.

Memory Monday

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From The Wonder Years

As retrospective, a blast from the past, a remembrance, a little history...

I was the only one who could balance on Dad's hands like this. That's got to be worth something, right?

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Don't forget to enter our giveaway for kokeshi magnets at Little Pink Plum! Leave a comment here before Tuesday 8pm for a chance to win.

Growing Up

Mayumi is 2 years and 8 months old. She should still be fitting into her size 2T clothes, right? But her pants were rising up above her ankles and her long-sleeved shirts are all about 3/4 length now. I feel as though she shot up overnight. My little amazon girl needed a little wardrobe rehaul.



I spent the better part of the morning going through her drawers and replacing most of her stuff with size 3T clothes (thankfully we were stocked up from generous grandparents at Christmas and from good friends passing on some gently-worn outfits). As I pulled out the too-small pants that have gotten worn at the knees and the shirts with stains across the chest I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed. We have so many memories associated with these miniature outfits: the trip to the zoo when she insisted on poking the straw into her chocolate milk box all by herself and sprayed herself with brown ooze. The time she wore her "kiss berry" shirt to Mr. Q's work and melted all his co-workers' hearts. The beautiful shirt and sweater set that she received as a gift from my best friend in Japan.

When Mayumi was a newborn I remember laying next to her and sobbing one night as she slept. I had realized that someday this precious little one would leave me to go to college. I almost couldn't bear it. I still find myself facing these moments when I feel as though time is passing by far too quickly and she won't always be my little girl. I sometimes wish I could freeze these moments forever...

But the other truth is that I keep loving her more as she grows. Just when I think it can't get any better, she does something new and I am fascinated and proud. She keeps getting more fun! And I cling to that truth to combat my fear of losing her.

Her clothes are packed away in a tupperware bin in the basement (oh, there are so many!) in easy reach, just in case I need to take them out to reminisce or (please, God, pretty please) I get a shot at raising another little sweet pea who gets to add more memories and stains to some lovingly-worn clothes.

Waiting for marshmallows

At church recently, a lesson was given on patience. The lesson was based on a talk given by Dieter Uchtdorf, who used the following anecdote:

In the 1960s, a professor at Stanford University began a modest experiment testing the willpower of four-year-old children. He placed before them a large marshmallow and then told them they could eat it right away or, if they waited for 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows.

He then left the children alone and watched what happened behind a two-way mirror. Some of the children ate the marshmallow immediately; some could wait only a few minutes before giving in to temptation. Only 30 percent were able to wait.

It was a mildly interesting experiment, and the professor moved on to other areas of research, for, in his own words, “there are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.” But as time went on, he kept track of the children and began to notice an interesting correlation: the children who could not wait struggled later in life and had more behavioral problems, while those who waited tended to be more positive and better motivated, have higher grades and incomes, and have healthier relationships.

What started as a simple experiment with children and marshmallows became a landmark study suggesting that the ability to wait—to be patient—was a key character trait that might predict later success in life.

So interesting--self-discipline is a key to success! Do you have the guts to try this with your four-year-old? :)

I did some research on this study and found this video where some motivational speaker discusses the experiment and includes footage from a modern-day reproduction of the experiment. It is hilarious to watch the kids try to resist the marshmallow. 

I wonder what the four-year-old MamaM would have done...

Kids write the darndest things

Growing up, our wabisabi mom would whisk us four children away to Japan for a month or two during many of our summer vacations. There we would stay with our grandparents in my mother's childhood home in the foothills of the Yahiko mountains. Two months was a long time to be away from home, especially away from our father, who was able to join us for only a week or two during our stay.

Since this was before the days of email and Skype, we wrote Dad letters, many of which he has kept and recently begun archiving. We kids have had a good laugh reading over these gems. What makes these letters so funny is that none of my siblings or I are very sentimental or mushy, yet these letters show quite the opposite!

I'm including a few of them below (with their original spelling and grammar) as a reminder to you to hang onto some of the pieces of art your kids create. You and they will enjoy looking at them years later.

July 26, 1986

Dear dad I like japan.  We have a cat.  We had a fish but a diferent cat ate it.  And when me and Elaine go to school a dog walks with us.  Someone has fish in a pond out side.  And she has son that I play with.  The beach is nice.  And I got a paint set from school.  And I finished a book in two day at school.  I got a lot of friends. I will miss you.

Love Chris [age 7]

July 11, 1989

Dear dad,

            How are you?  I’m bad.  School is bad, and Elaine and Chris are worse then they are at home!  Elaine, she was the worst!  She hid my coloring books, and Elaine and Chris hid on me and they hid up-stairs and I couldn’t find them, and when I went up to find them they went down.  And their not even suppose to be up there.  It’s fun at home but Elaine and Chris they drive me crazie.

            You are asking all these questions and I’m gona ansew them.  You asked how we were doing, I’m O.K.  And how’s school?  You asked, it’s Yuk!  You asked if we remember any friends, I sure don’t.  You asked if we went swimming evry day, well we haven’t we’v been at school all day.  You asked if we were learning any Japaness, well I’v learned a little.  You asked of O-jichan and O-bachan are spoiling us, well a little.  You asked if we are eating to much candy and we only at a little candy.  You asked if we played with the dog, well I sure do.  You asked if eating with o-hashie hard, it’s only a little.  You asked if we have favirate japaness cartoons on T.V. I don’t.  You asked us if we were giving mom a hard time only Elaine and Chris.  You asked if mom was eating to much she only eat’s a lot of clams.

I know this letter is late but happy birthday hope all your wishes come true

Love,

Emily [Age 7]

August 7, 1989

Dear Daddy,

I miss you very much.  I’m glad that you came to Japan.  I hope you won’t be to lonely in America.  I bought a fake lipstick and when you take the lipstick off, it’s a pen.  And I got a new, pretty necklace.  I’m having a good time here.  Love, Anne [age 5]

P.S. Elaine wrote this.

P.P.S. My tooth fell out! (Annie’s 1^st tooth!)

Dear Daddy,

            I miss you so so so so soooo much!  I had a dream that last night you came and you were sleeping in Mommy’s bed but when I woke up, you weren’t there!  Chris is being a real idiot!  I try to be nice, and I am!  (But he’s still mean to me (and Elaine, Anne, & Ma)).  It’s nice here, how’s it in the U.S. of A.  We all have special jobs, and I clean up the kitchen and the hallway around the toilet.  Chris does the praying room.  At least he’s suppose too.  Mommy usually ends up doing it.  Annie sweeps where the shoes are and lines them up.  Elaine does the T.V. room and the playroom.  I’m making a picture book.  I have to go know.  I love you.  xoxo Love, Your dying to see you daughter, Emily  ♥ [age 7]

Dear Oto-san, Daddy      

      

I ♥ U     

Missin’ ya             

I love you Daddy!

            How’s life?  I miss you sooo much!  Chris is kinda hyper.  He’s been that way ever since you left.  Mom’s kinda upset because I get mad when Chris is being a jerk.  I’m trying to be good and I mostly ignore him (or try to) and play with the girls.  Then Chris get’s upset because he has nothing to do and teases us, which is soooooo aggravating.  Last night there was a typhoon!  Today, we went to the beach to see the waves.  Pretty big, but I have seen bigger.  Us girls are pretty much getting along, a few arguments here and there but what can I say?  Nobody’s perfect.

            I’m helping out a lot.  I sweep every day and do the dishes.  (Almost everyday)  Oba-chan thinks Yoko’s kids are good and helpful.  We’re trying to show her we’re just as good and helpful, if not better.  Chris wants to show he’s more helpful, but I don’t know about being good.  I miss you.  Gotta go, Dad!  Bye!  Love, Elaine [age 12]