Thursday, August 16, 2012

growing up

A while back Mayumi and I were browsing around the thrift store when we came upon some little lady black Mary Janes with a tiny bit of a heel. She was thrilled and begged to have them and since they were in excellent condition and only $4 I agreed. Later that evening, after she showed them off for her daddy, PapaQ let me know that he didn't approve at all - he thought that not only were they inappropriate for developing feet and bones, but they were too grown-up. I realized that I agreed and we watched, chagrined, as she pranced around in them, admiring her legs and relishing the the satisfying clippity-cloppety sound they make on the hard wood. 

A few weeks later she received another pair of heels, this time gold-strapped with plasticky-glass bobbles. Nana had recently painted Mayumi's toenails (another thing that is generally not allowed around here) and the combination of scarlet red toes and flashy strappy sandals remind me of something Granny would wear on a special night out. Grown-up indeed.
Ultimately, it is probably not a big deal that we indulged her despite the dangers. But parenting is made up of countless tiny decisions that cumulatively add up to where we stand morally, intellectually, and spiritually and kids pick up on the discrepancies and hypocrisies, don't they?
Why does Mama get to wear heels (though I hardly ever do because they are too uncomfortable!)?
Why does Daddy get to eat two cookies when I only had one?
Why could I have a treat yesterday but not today?
Why can I get away with whining and complaining sometimes but not all the time?

It is so hard to be consistent and fair and wise. It is hard being a parent! Mistakes are inevitable! Sometimes I find myself at a loss. Sometimes Mayumi argues me into a corner and I find I have no explanation. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is give in...

More than anything, I see that Mayumi isn't the only one with some growing up to do around here.


Pomegranategrl said...

There is always compromise. You are a great mother and she is lucky you have her best interests in mind.

Kumi said...

Oops! I still have a couple more high heels for Christmas. Should I throw away?

Ye Stewart Clan said...

The longer I parent the more I realize I have no idea what I am doing.

Kumi said...

This article makes me laughing so much every time I re-read it. I am sorry, but it's so funny. The way you wrote is more amusing than your struggling. Well, you should throw the sandals away, when Maya starts forgetting them.