We had a really interested discussion in church last week about agency. I've struggled with trying to make the "right" choices. Morally right, emotionally right, socially right, right for me and my family. But it's often difficult to know what is the "right" choice: do I continue breastfeeding or wean now? Do I take on more responsibilities at work or not? Should I enroll my daughter in pre-school or not? Should I enlarge my vegetable garden or not? As mothers we make a million choices every day and they have good and bad consequences. Does a bad consequence mean you made a bad choice? I'm not sure...Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other person and then for ourselves.~ Helen Keller
What I have learned is that regret is a horrible thing. That challenges are a necessary part of living and growing. And that the most important thing I can teach my daughter is how to handle those challenges with grace, strength and even gratitude. Out of the millions of choices I make, perhaps the biggest one is how I choose to respond to the consequences that result from those choices. My attitude is my own choice, my happiness is of my own making. Though it is raining I will choose to be grateful. Though weaning has been heartbreaking I will focus instead on the bond we've created and the chance we'll have at creating new life. I will try to teach my daughter that it's okay to be sad about something, and suffering will inevitably happen (and often as a result of our own choices) but you look for the silver lining, find something to be grateful for, and move on. And maybe I'll learn that lesson along with her!
Right now, my happinesses are holding Mayumi's hand, enjoying the way she caresses my hair when we hug, catching up with friends, meeting Mr. Q for lunch downtown, writing hand-written notes, gardening, and eating muffins (more on that this Friday!). What are yours?
Right now, my happinesses are holding Mayumi's hand, enjoying the way she caresses my hair when we hug, catching up with friends, meeting Mr. Q for lunch downtown, writing hand-written notes, gardening, and eating muffins (more on that this Friday!). What are yours?
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.~Abraham Lincoln
1 comment:
Thanks Elaine. This reminds me of Pam England's "do the next best thing" approch in Birthing From Within. All we can do is be open to what life brings us and then do what is right with what we have in that moment.
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